“True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.” —Socrates
I’ve always enjoyed learning. Whether it was acquiring knowledge in a classroom as a child, learning new skills for my career as an adult, or navigating interpersonal relationships over the years, I’ve found comfort and purpose in the idea that life is a continuously evolving journey of self-improvement (it’s one of the things that draws me towards continually writing my own fictional works, a skill that can forever be improved). And never was the idea of life being an unending journey made clearer to me than when my wife and I welcomed our first child into the world a few years ago. It became apparent, from the moment our baby took her first breath, that I knew absolutely nothing. About anything. My worldview completely changed, and in the intervening years, she taught me more about life—or at least served as the catalyst of new perspectives—than anything else I had ever experienced.
So when my wife and I welcomed the arrival of our second daughter earlier this summer, I was excited and nervous, as well as all of the other emotions I felt during our first pregnancy, albeit in slightly subdued measures. That’s because I also felt confident, because we’d been through the start of the child-rearing process before. We knew how to successfully care for a newborn baby and I thought, really, how hard could it be to raise a second child? Boy, how naive I was. Once again, I found myself knowing nothing. But it has been a truly magical journey thus far. Our younger daughter is still a newborn, but she is already showing signs of a burgeoning personality that is curious, sensitive, and friendly. I’ve found myself awestruck by her interactions with her sister, and I’ve experienced some of the most profound moments of joy witnessing their discoveries of one another.
However, with the arrival of another child comes the inevitable sacrifice of a precious resource: time. I’ve been exceedingly fortunate to have been able to work my regular job from home during the global pandemic. But it’s admittedly taken quite a bit more time than I anticipated to successfully balance my day job responsibilities with my wife’s professional commitments, the needs of our two young children, our personal relationships (now primarily virtual) with friends and family, and our various hobbies and interests. All of that is to say that I’ve found myself pulled away from my fiction writing projects for quite a while. The relatively steady routine of life in which I’d found myself during the early half of the crazy year that is 2020 has evaporated.
Nearly every time I’ve felt the pull of a blank word processing document in recent weeks, I’ve instead gravitated towards tasks that pay the bills, playtime with my daughters, projects around the house, restructuring my fitness routine, or simply reading some literature and a few nonfiction books for pleasure. And it’s been wonderful! Amidst everything else, I’ve also been exercising more often, reading picture books with my children, and trying my best to soak up more of the special, fleeting moments of everyday life. I’m pleased to say that a byproduct of this change in my routine has been an organic reconsideration of some story ideas I’d been mulling over, and I’m eager to explore some new worlds and characters soon. (Although, I must admit that I haven’t divested myself from every aspect of a few personal fiction projects—I’ll have some exciting news to share in the coming weeks.)
So what does all of this rambling mean? Well, I’ll note that I value this blog—just as I imagine many people do with their own creative outlets—as a means to help provide clarity on the thoughts and emotions running through my brain. But also, I’d like to share one thing that seems obvious but that can be difficult to put into practice, something I once knew, and I’m happy to have recently learned again: Sometimes, it’s good to step back from a project (or two, or three), take a deep breath, and allow yourself some time to gain a new perspective. The world is a chaotic place—more now than ever, it seems—and we should never take anything for granted. Not an opportunity for a tea party with your child, nor the pleasure of getting lost in a good book, nor a fleeting moment of creative inspiration. Be well, everyone.
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